Episode 38

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Published on:

21st Oct 2024

My Fall

Ghia – I’m tired of falling forward. This fall, I’m changing the narrative and moving forward deliberately day by day, with confidence that God is leading my path.

Transcript
Speaker:

Hooray.

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Kia here.

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I'm this week's host of the

creative, spiritual journey podcast.

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Where Judy and I talk about

those things that bring us joy.

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For me.

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I find joy by connecting with nature.

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Connecting with Jesus Christ

and our heavenly parents.

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Seasonal living and all those

bits of magic and wonder I come

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across while navigating this

remarkable journey we call life.

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It's October.

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This time of falling leaves is obviously

where we got the name fall for the season.

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But the word fall is used in so

many different ways in our life.

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We can have a waterfall.

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Uh, rockfall a windfall.

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We can fall flat.

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Fall in line fall from grace,

fall short or fall in love.

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Today.

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I want to talk about falling forward.

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Have you ever heard this idea before?

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It's the idea of embracing failure,

learning from it and using the

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knowledge to move forward more

successfully in the future.

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It's the idea that Reggie Jackson struck

out in baseball over 2,600 times, but

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still held the world record for home runs.

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Or that Thomas Edison conducted a

thousand failed experiments before

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he came up with the light bulb.

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It's the idea that while a baby

is learning to walk, we cheer

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at every step she takes instead

of lamenting over every fall.

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This idea of celebrating small

wins is an important concept.

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And it reminds me that I've been

thinking I should explain why I always

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begin my podcast by saying her re.

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That her Ray is a genuine,

heartfelt emotion.

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I am celebrating that.

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I finished writing another

podcast and got it recorded.

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And actually get to share it with you.

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When I first learned the importance

of celebrating, I realized that

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I hadn't truly celebrated hardly

anything in my life for years.

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And I made a conscious effort to change.

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I began celebrating everything.

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I had a good poop, her re I finished

the dishes, Hooray I was out of bed.

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Hooray.

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Whatever good thing I did.

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No matter how small, I tried

to see it as an accomplishment.

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And I celebrated it with

an exclamation of joy.

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And yes, sometimes it felt forced,

but the more I did it, the more I

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actually experienced the feeling.

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And I believe it tells

my body that all as well.

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That I am in a good place.

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And replaced the constant feeling

of stress that I have fed my body

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on a continual basis in the past.

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I didn't write her re in my first podcast.

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It just came out naturally.

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So I have chosen to keep it as my

I don't know my little trademark.

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But no, while I've gotten better

at celebrating, I'm still working

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on the idea of falling forward.

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This falling forward concept

reminds me of one of the most famous

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stories in the book of Mormon.

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And that is of Neefa.

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Retrieving the brass plates from Laban.

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Here's how I see him falling forward.

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The first time Neefa goes to Laban.

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He simply asks for the plates

and he fails and getting them.

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But was that a complete failure?

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I don't think so because

he finds layman's house.

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He goes inside.

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He learns where things are overall.

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He gets a lay of the land.

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He didn't do any of this intentionally.

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It was simply a result of trying

something, anything to get started.

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It seems to me, this failed attempt

may be why on his next attempt Neefa

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brings valuables from his family

home in order to buy the plates.

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While in layman's house the first

time did ni find notice maybe

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that Laban had expensive tastes.

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Possibly right.

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Regardless.

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His second attempt seems to

fail disastrously as Neefa is

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forced to flee for his life.

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Leaving behind all the

precious belongings.

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But was it a complete failure?

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Have you ever asked yourself why Laban

got drunk that night so drunk that

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he was falling down in the street?

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Of course, I have no idea.

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But I suspect Laban got drunk

because he had a windfall.

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He got a boatload of valuables for free.

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Do you think he felt like

celebrating, Like buying around for

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all his friends being magnanimous.

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Is that why Nifae found Laban

passed out in the street?

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Ultimately allowing him to

obtain the brass plates.

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Once again, I can't say, but

in my humble opinion, This is a

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great story of falling forward.

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Neefa appears to have learned

from his failed attempts and

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taken the next best step.

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Now the trick for me is learning how to

apply this lesson to my circumstance.

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To be honest.

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I feel like I've been falling

forward for my whole life.

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I'm 58, not a young man.

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Like Neefa.

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I'm tired of falling forward.

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Can't I feel for once, like I have

reached my goal or succeeded at something.

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Now I know I have succeeded

at a lot of things.

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I have rode the biggest

whitewater in north America.

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I have climbed the tallest mountain

in the continental United States.

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And in my opinion, I have

successfully raised one of the most

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fabulous women in the whole world.

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But despite all of this, I have

felt a yearning to do something.

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Felt like there was

something more for my life.

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Something that my talents were

specifically designed for.

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This is how I have felt

for the last 40 years.

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I have tried creating a crafting

business, which flopped.

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I went back to school and got a

graphic design certificate, which

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only provided short term work.

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Then I thought maybe I

could become a writer.

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So I wrote two novels, which sadly I

have never professionally published.

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Each time and my opinion, I have

failed at reaching my goals.

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And each time I have reluctantly

gotten up and move forward again.

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Recently Judy suggested we put

up a prayer meditation course.

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I was scared, but I refuse to

shy away from something hard.

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So I jumped in with both feet.

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We put up a website, we put up a course.

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And then the state started

having technical difficulties

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and Judy went on a mission.

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So we took the whole thing down.

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Now duty and I have a podcast.

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Is this it.

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Is this what I've been

looking for my whole life.

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Is this what I'm supposed to do?

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Now, let me say that through each

of the aforementioned attempts.

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I have prayed to know if

this was God's will for me.

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Was this how I was

supposed to spend my time.

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Through all my efforts at learning

how God speaks to me, I have always

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felt some degree of confirmation.

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Still, I never reached my goals.

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Which leads me to where I am today.

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It's fall here in the Northern hemisphere.

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And the idea of writing a podcast

about falling forward, came to mind.

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And I thought really.

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I can't talk about falling forward.

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I've never reached a goal.

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I've never completed the 1001

experiments leading me to success.

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So I tried to dismiss the falling

forward idea from my mind.

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Then on a Sunday morning, a few

weeks ago, I decided to play

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biblio Mancy with my hymnbook.

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Do you know what that is?

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It's where you let the book fall open

to any page and see what you find.

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And this is most often

done with the Bible.

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But I have taken to doing it on

Sunday mornings with my hymnal.

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So on this morning, just a few days after

my falling forward debate, I came across

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a hymn and titled lead, kindly light.

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I didn't remember the tune at first.

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So I just began reading the words.

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And they thumped my chest with

an answer to my questions.

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My questions of is this

what you want me to do?

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Will this finally lead me to success.

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Can you hardly wait to

hear what I discovered?

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All the words of the hymn are poignant.

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But the one line that spoke

to me was keep them my feet.

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I do not ask to see the distance

scene one, step enough for me.

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I've been asking all these years,

if my plan was going to lead me

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to some distant accomplishment.

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This him helped me to see, I only

need to know what I should do today.

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I only need the next step.

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Knowing God is directing my path.

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I can keep falling forward

indefinitely with confidence.

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As I pondered these words, I wondered

who the author was and what in this

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person's life led them to this conclusion.

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This realization that they

only needed the next step.

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This realization that I needed.

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So I looked it up.

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Let me share what I found.

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The author was John Henry Newman.

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Newman was originally an Anglican

priest that converted to Catholicism

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and was eventually canonized as a Saint.

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In 1833 as a young priest

traveling in Italy, he got sick.

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Likely with typhoid fever.

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And suffered both physically

and emotionally for weeks.

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During this time he wanted nothing

more than to return home to England,

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where he felt God had a work for him.

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Eventually he found passage on a small

boat and thought he would soon be home.

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But it wasn't to be.

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The boat was beset by calm and thick fog.

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With hazardous cliffs

threatening the vessel.

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It was forced to sit.

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Four days waiting for

the weather to clear.

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It was in these dark, damp and

lonely conditions that Newman

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penned the words of his him.

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Have you ever been becalmed.

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I grew up sailing with my

family, to the channel islands

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off the coast of California.

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We were never truly becalmed

because we had a motor.

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But I distinctly remember being

surrounded by heavy white fog.

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This generally happened in the mornings.

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Prompting my dad to fire

up the diesel engine.

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But between the fumes and the

rolling waves, I would get seasick.

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It was horrible.

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I love being out on a boat when the

wind is up and we are under sail and

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the waves are crashing over the bow.

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That is a blast.

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But those foggy mornings were misery.

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In fact, despite loving the ocean to

this day, I avoid sea going vessels,

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unless there is some adventure.

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I absolutely can't resist.

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So I can relate to Newman's experience.

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I know my own form of foggy misery.

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Here's what's interesting.

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It's wonderful that Newman

was able to take this bad

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experience and learn from it.

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But I found myself wondering if he was

actually able to apply the lesson he

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had learned to the rest of his life.

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So I dug more into his history and I came

to believe that miraculously, he was.

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He converted to Catholicism because

it was the closest religion he

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could find to the truth he believed

was held in early Christianity.

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He converted, despite the likely outcome

of being rejected by friends and family.

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It seems to me, he took this next step

in his life, regardless of the future.

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That's what I want to live each

day to the best of my ability,

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regardless of where it leads.

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I don't expect this new plan of taking

things one day at a time to be easy.

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I have a lifetime of habits to change.

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But taking things one day

at a time is my new goal.

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Something to be mindful of.

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Something that just might change my life.

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Don't get me wrong.

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This doesn't mean I won't plan

for the future and it doesn't

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mean I'm not going to set goals.

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It just means for me.

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And my life right now.

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I don't want to worry that I might

be wasting my time or worrying

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that I'm not on the right path

or that I'm not good enough.

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I'm just going to trust that

I will be guided day by day.

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So my goal is to fall forward one day, one

step at a time, knowing I am on a journey.

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My God is directing.

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It doesn't matter if I can't

see the end or if I reach it in

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this lifetime, it only matters.

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That I am moving forward.

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As Proverbs says, trust in

the Lord with all thine heart

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and he will direct thy paths.

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Is this podcast.

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The thing that God has been leading me to.

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I have no idea.

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And you know what?

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I am relieved to finally learn.

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It doesn't matter.

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I am doing the best I can

today, because just like you.

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I am a beloved daughter of heavenly

parents and I hold any eternal destiny.

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Judy and I know your time is precious

and that you have many choices.

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We love that you have chosen to

walk with us for a few minutes.

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As we talk about the joys, we

have found along this journey.

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If you liked this podcast, thank you in

advance for sharing it with a friend.

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We love reaching new people.

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It keeps us going.

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And remember if you haven't

fallen forward, you haven't tried.

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Nama stay.

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About the Podcast

Creative Spiritual Journey
one small, deliberate step at a time
We are all on a journey—a journey home to our heavenly parents. Any experienced traveler knows there are days you laugh and days you cry.

We aren’t here to tell you how to live—we are here to share how we live—how we survive, thrive, and even find joy!

The journey gets messy with rainstorms and sleepless flights but the hard times—the miserable times—those make the best stories.

And the vistas, the sunsets, the little birds outside the window—those are the reminders that God is in the details, he is aware of us, he has trod the path before.

The Creative Spiritual Journey Podcast is hosted by Judy and Ghia Cooley—two sisters in their wisdom years—who love the savior and are dedicated to making this journey one small, deliberate step at a time.

Join us!

About your host

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Ghia Cooley